Eleven years before Etan Patz went missing from Manhattan’s SoHo neighborhood, three-year-old Jo Bautista and her little sister were kidnapped from the Bronx in 1968. There was no hue and cry. No nationwide search. Her face was never on a milk carton.
Thankfully for her family, she did not suffer little Etan’s fate, and was eventually found alive after 18 years. But damage had been done, and it would be another 20 years before she could fully remember what had happened and find peace.
“Erase and Start Over” is the story of a middle-aged single-parent’s journey through resurfacing memories of a violent past and into the world of 21st century mental illness and treatment.
This blog, Erase and Start Over, covers topics that can be a little tough to take. If you have PTSD or other mental health conditions, please consider carefully before reading my blog. There will be triggers.
I am a middle-aged single parent who has been successfully managing PTSD and severe depression. I can hardly believe my own story about how I got here, especially the resurfacing memories that have appeared decades after they happened. This blog is my place to talk about it as honestly and frankly as possible, given my own doubts about my memory.
I have been kidnapped by a parent, beaten, and raped by the time I was 10. Went to five elementary schools. Was beaten and sexually assaulted over the years until I was 25, when my first marriage ended with me in the hospital and him in jail. I know hunger. I know poverty. I know the fear of not being able to keep your child safe, fed, and clothed. I know bankruptcy. I've worked as a stripper and as a legislative analyst and everything in between.
I have also known incredible joy and empowerment, heart-filling gratitude, centered peace, and much love. Through it all, the one truth that has helped me rise from the valleys is the knowledge that I can always:
Borrón y cuenta nueva.
Erase and start over.
Erase and Start Over 