Tick, tick, tick, tick, tock, tock, tock, tick…I can’t help but notice the irregular pattern because the house is so silent that there’s nothing else to hear. I know it means the battery needs to be replaced, but I don’t move from my armchair. I don’t write it down. I don’t even note it in my mind to remember later.

My mug is on the coffee table, just inches out of reach, but I don’t lean forward to pick it up. It’s cold by now, anyway.

I don’t know why I am still here. I got up, drove Daisy to school, turned the car toward home, and ended up here. Again. My laptop is over on my desk, waiting for me to upload morning posts for my Facebook clients. I need to finish writing a client’s annual report. We’re out of towels, so laundry is on my list. I have a client I am meeting at noon, and a potential client at four, then a job interview for a church secretary position at seven tonight. I should take out some chicken to thaw for dinner. The newspapers need to be taken to the recycling bin.

Tick, tock, tock, tock, tick, tick…

Tasks float in and out of my mind like dust motes in a ray of sunlight. They gleam for a moment before slipping into the shadows. I feel empty. Pointless. There is nothing to do that I haven’t done before. As soon as I do them, I’ll have to do them again. The repetition leads nowhere. Nothing is ever finished.

My head has lowered into my hands. I don’t remember doing it, but the light pressure of my fingertips feels comforting on my forehead. The light is now seeping through my hands as well as my eyelids, making the shadows slightly pink. Orange-pink. Salmon. I like salmon-colored roses.

I raise my head and settle back into the armchair, picturing salmon-colored roses mingled with miniature white daisies and plenty of green fern. No, not daisies. Big, white camellias in full bloom, taking up most of the space above some piece of tall, elegant porcelain, with the salmon roses and green ferns dressing them like jewels in luxurious hair.

Thoughts of my cell phone, calendar, chores, are gone. There are only flowers of white dappled with rich salmon and green. So beautiful. My shoulders finally lower. My chin is dropping. The colors are so beautiful.